maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
