So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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