Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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