She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
