She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
