I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize