Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
