woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
