Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
