At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
No...this little piggys going to the bar
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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