Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You need a sexual gate keeper
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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