I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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