So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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