I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
