How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
