Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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