I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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