OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
