That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
