Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
