adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
