It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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