Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
