I hate all girls vehemently.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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