Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
