No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
