My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
