the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
