Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
