Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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