I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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