For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
