I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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