he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
