we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize