WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
