all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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