Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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