also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
