I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
