My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize