Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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