And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
