nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
