If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Come see our sink grown plant.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
