i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
