Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
