Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
