dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
