ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
