we're blogging at a bar
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
birth control should be required to get into college
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
