So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Girls should come with a carfax report
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
