just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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