you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
