Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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