he wants to bone in the snuggie
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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