'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
