I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize