Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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