Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
