im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
where does the pee come out of this thing
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
