South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
