Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
