I feel like abortions should bother me more
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
