He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
