So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize