But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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