My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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