I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
