got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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