Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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