my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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