I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
