You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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