Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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