naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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