stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize