Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
