you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
