he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
